Day 56

Day 56

So I got your letter today from the 16^th – 18^th and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want you to tell me if I should start writing bigger cause it’s only 80 cents for like 50 pages. So let me know if it’s worth it to you. In the meantime I will practice writing bigger and still more impact like this-it will still take up a little more room cause the letters are wider. I just finished the book “Holes” which was good and am halfway through “Soon”. When we moved into this cell a couple days ago someone left some books- “Think and Grow Rich” and a Spanish translation book so I started both of those. I’m trying to at least learn some Spanish while in here huh? So far I memorized all the question words-who, when and all that and right now I’m memorizing things in a room-just common things like: chair, silla, clock, reloj and a few others-just got it two days ago so… yeah this dude still breathes super loud and plays with the spit in his mouth hours. They forgot to let us go out again yesterday. What’s cool is that I get to call you tonight but only for a couple minutes then wait for July. Are you excited about camping in a couple of weeks? Don’t forget to write a bunch while you’re there. So I am really going to try to lighten up on the harshness of this place cause I really enjoyed when you responded to my letter and don’t want you to feel that feeling when you face my reality. It’s not too difficult for me to deal with cause I’m tougher than leather. It is however, difficult for me to think about you worrying. I will attempt to  stay conscious of keeping me expressions of the bad stuff to a minimum. It sounds like you want me to send letters to the house and not to the PO Box. It’s not super important on my end right now while in SHU so I’ll go back to that til I’m out. Anyways they give us a fresh pair of underwear when we shower but I couldn’t shower that week cause no shower shoes but I was able to buy more so never have to do that again. I do have to wear the same jumpsuit everyday though and it’s starting to reek. I bet you found another language flaw. It probably isn’t a “pair” of underwear like some folks say. Well tried to call you a few times but you’re probably still at work so I’ll call on Saturday. I should call Sundays since you don’t work and I got to get the phone when I can. I can’t really bother a guard twice on their shift.

Happy Birthday To My Niece Raina!!!!

Day 55

Day 55

Member when we use to put the baby in the kitchen on Esplanade with that cardboard blocking. She was just a little baby then and use to wake me up crying everyday. I would go get here and bring her back to the bed and she would curl up and go right to sleep. Did we traumatize her and create emotional problems or did it train her to be more independent and prepare and normalize being alone for her. Puppies go potty a lot and often are raised on a chain outside all day. I think we did okay she’s super smart. The only thing about her is that funky attitude towards guys and other doggies. So what do you think about my future in the computer field? It’s not doomed right?  Anyway I have been praying for Joe-hope he got good news from the specialist. I pray for your stress related anxiety too! You can eat lots of cereal and yogurt and quesadillas can’t you? Cereal you can eat for two meals if needed. You need to keep nutrients flowing through you. You can never expect to have enough energy or stress relief if you don’t eat properly. When I was younger I wasn’t hungry a few times a week but I forced some food in me cause I would think “I’m not hungry but my body might be”. It is highly important to keep your body healthy with the carbs, protein, good fats, vitamins and minerals coming only from food. I also pray for your safety and your emotions every day. Take care of you- I need you around for many years to come at least maybe you can add a year to your life to make up for this time I don’t have you J. Anyway if you come across a C++  paperback let me know cause C plus plus certification can get me many different computer jobs and I have lots of time to read now. The holmes here just gave me a fine example of how he communicates more often than not: while listening to Tom Lykus the subject is “tell me what you learn from this show”. So all the callers are calling in right and left all thanking Tom for this and that. At the end Tom says “this has been a terrific show” I says “well yeah everyone has been thanking you” the holmes here, using his usual hateful pagan voice goes “did you not hear the subject of the show” I says “yeah ‘tell me what you learn from this show’” hateful voice again “yeah, so they are thanking them for what they learned”. So you see how I was just talking casually, not even debating anything, just giving the reason why the host said it was a terrific show? This is what I deal w/ all day if I dare talk. He talks about 20 minutes a day and maybe too and keep in mind we are just sitting here in this tiny cell all day and night. Like this example, I am usually not even talking to him when I do talk. Anyway I can’t believe you were able to clean the Tercel in the summer heat. Probably did it in the a.m. or something huh? I know you’re saying it just had to be done. Paul McCartney is schooling me on paganism right now and this pen keeps going out on me as usual. Yeah I do look a bit ugly now. I only lost that 10 pounds but might have gained it back with no activity in the hole here. I do have a beard which is ugly and my hair was shaved on like #1 like a week ago but you know what I haven’t seen my face in 24 days which is a record for me. I bet I have set over 100 personal records within the hole. When I was a kid and Three’s Company was my first and only favorite show childhood through teen years I idolized Jack. For some reason I always put myself in his place so strongly that I always unconsciously thought I WAS Jack Tripper. I know I unconsciously thought it cause it came to my conscious later in life. I just find it funny that I only had one favorite TV show til I was like 20 something-til I met you and you are in love with that kind of character. See God knew that I would absorb the characteristics in me and you would love me. That was cute that you kept saying “I love me some Whittmier”-funny that Alyssa thought you were a freak for that. See I like when you’re funny. It’s that playful thing that I mentioned that I like. Also when you told the shuttle driver amen. See that’s why I don’t like Angelina Jolie cause she’s so serious-no girly giggling, playful femininity. If a guy would say it it’s girly. I will be walking out of here funnier than ever cause that’s what I do to break free my mind from hardships. When I get out I’ll also shave my face and grow my hair long for you. You go right ahead and continue to just think that I’m just away and not here cause your well being and mental health may need that for it’s won safety. I love you my wife, soulmate and bestfriend. Have a good time for me and keep safe and healthy! Love Jeff Tripper

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Day 54

Day 54

Did you know my celly starts passing gas the second he wakes up, also he never peed without passing gas several times. I am just as upset that I can’t stop complaining to you about him than I am with his continual rotation of disgusting sounds. It’s hard to feel love for him but if I can continue to then I can build up my capacity for love for everyone and it especially will strengthen my love for the already lovable. I think that’s why Christ encourages to love your enemy cause that friction causes increase in our capacity to love. Y’ know I was thinking if someone besides you or Jen is determined to send me literature or a subscription I have always really loved “ Readers Digest “ and I think the people who put it out Christians or something. I use to read it everyday when I worked in Reno and it always had Christian or family stuff. So today we rotated cells (every 3 weeks). They all look the same though so it doesn’t matter. Anyway about the letters-don’t get me wrong I love when you get mushy. It doesn’t make me feel dorky. Makes me feel manly, so it’s the opposite as when these others get mushy or sentimental on theirs. It’s kinda weird though that you never respond to any of what I write-not even questions. I mean I don’t read your letters over and over. I read them once then when I write you I read through it and respond at the same time to each thing I want to . It’s almost a trick for being able to easily write a letter. Actually no one really responds to anything I say and it trips me. I aint said nothing yet cause it doesn’t upset me---at least they’re writing.

Day 52

Day 52

Well 3 week in here and almost two months on the island. How about this second month?  Hasn’t it seemed to go by quicker than the first? I mean wasn’t that so recently that you kept saying “and it’s only been one month”. Notice how my writing has slowed down? Yesterday and today is almost over and I barely started writing. So since the selection is so shabby on the book cart I am reading that book Soon and another one called Holes. Remember the movie? It is a great story-though for a younger crowd-but hey- can’t be a chooser in here. Anyway my headaches are still going away after I burp. Everytime I get those sudden severe headaches like the one before the aneurysm rupture, then I burp and within minutes it’s gone. Could it have been gas that caused my brain aneurysm? hmmm

Day 51

Day 51

I am officially as bored as possible. I am having a hard time following the KJV- I always stopped reading something when there’s too many words I don’t understand. Thou goest wentworth to thine bethelest preordination and such. My celly wants to know what the age difference has to be for it to be statutory-he says it’s definitely nine months-but he matter of facts a lot. Time is slowing down in this hole. My original guards of adjustment are going down and I’m starting to pay attention to the detail of time. I started working on my bible memorizing again but I’m only using the KJV to get me started on the line by memory- I don’t want to memorize KJV cause I want to be able to help the basic person on the street who wouldn’t know half those words. Just know all that-the nonstop body functions, the not letting me sleep on purpose and w/ snoring both-these things never ever cease-just stopping writing it. So anyway don’t forget you might want to check out those two how to fix, repair and build books-They give easy step by step instructions including what materials you need. You may find new sink installation. Anyway I’m real anxious for my book. I’m sure it’s hard to fathom just sitting on a bunk all day with nothing but writing paper and a bible version that’s hard to understand. Only sleeping about 6 hours a day due to you know. Writing doesn’t always come easy to me-actually it did til I got in here and haven’t much happening thus no experiences to express or ideas stemming from them. Just that which comes out of my under stimulated brain which has numbed and quieted itself down as a defense mechanism for extreme boredom and lack of control. I’m actually reading a novel I found on cart today-it’s by author Jerry Jenkins-who co-wrote “Left Behind”.  I’ve actually read 55 pages since I got it two hours ago. You should read it-it’s pretty good so fsr-it’s called “Soon”. It appears to be book one of a series.

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Day 50

Day 50

Rom 5:3-4 is that one that pertains to this time. Also in the KJV Rom 2:1 at the end is straight says one of my theories. I forgot that my theories can usually be backed by scripture. It’s wisdom from God who lives in me I guess. “For thou that judgest doeth the same things” or as I say, we shouldn’t tell people that they’re wrong about this or that because everything we complain about we ourselves are guilty of (or will be) in some way, shape or form. That’s why instead of resenting or getting angry at someone we would need to complete the process of clearing all the planks from our own eyes. Many scriptures back up that unless we are perfect we shall not judge or condemn another. Most of the 1^st half of Rom 2 KJV says. I’m not talking to you I’m talking to myself and everyone on earth that I know. I am upset a lot with Paul McCartney because he has to make a body sound every 30 seconds. I am really becoming aware of this just in the past week. Never stops-even as I have written this he has: hiccupped, farted, yawned, burped, cleared throat, sneezed, coughed, sniffed, sucked teeth, and popped joints. It is more like every 15 seconds and I cringe because I’m dumbfounded-it’s always going nonstop. I can’t ever nap because of it. Even when he sleeps it’s snoring. What is wrong with this poor guy. He drums on his bare skin with his hands, crumbles papers and plastic, fans through a books pages with thumb over and over-it’s all on purpose right? My blood boils-other than him it is dead silent in here a lot. I don’t barely even make a peep. When he does speak he’s critical especially responding to me. That part has gotten better though as I snap back now. It’s the only thing that stops him—pew pew-gotta cover-rot. Anyway everyday I tell myself not to write about this but I’m trapped 23 to 24 hours a day for almost 3 weeks of this nonstop. Maybe it’s a pagan demon or I like to think it’s God trying to build patience in me. I am ashamed to be part of the male species. I will be happy to never have interactions with another man when I leave Man Island here. I can’t sleep cause the holms gets louder out of jealousy I guess, I don’t know. The point was I don’t complain about things that I am guilty of but I must be semi-equal with other lame things or at least to believe I am so that I can end the judging. I hate judging. I am not petty-these are abnormally inconsiderate things I speak of. Sound is ten time louder in this little sound proof concrete box. You only had one little thing that I had complained about. I worded it wrong though I think. Not anger but attitude or negativity. I get angry in here. I don’t look at him with attitude (though for the moment I do) but pity and confusion. I get angry at the odds and absurdity but I love and continue to feel love and sympathy for this guy. I look at the positive side and that is I am learning patience which is an awesome attribute to gain. This place also makes YOU look more and more perfect. The people here are so lame that all those hundreds of things I like about you are magnified. Now even your attitude problem is no big deal. Don’t get upset I have more planks than you and I’m sorry for pointing your one plank out. I will put forth effort to avoid ever doing that. I think a better and more effective way to help you with that is prayer and example. Help me if years down the road I forget. Prayer and example is my only option k? From this moment on hold me to that k? It really is the only thing that will work. Obviously me continuing to keep you aware of it was no help and possibly only made it more prevalent and surfacey-forgive me for that. I convince myself that that was the way to help you was to continue bringing it to your awareness instead of the best way to help through prayer and example with most concentration of ridding my own planks. See I have more potential to be a better man than you will find in the world. Mucho Gusto

Day 49

Day 49

I’m sad for Ali and Alyssa that Javier went to prison but in a way it is a blessing for us cause your parents are understanding of the fact that I had to come here. Hawaii! That’s cool that Sid and Sunny can fly us there but we got to have some cash saved up for room and food. Well at least we know that we will get to go. I like how Sunny woke up early to make me my last home cooked meal before coming here; egg and ham sandwich-it was the best! She did her devotion while I ate. Then when she dropped me off she asked me to forgive her for when she got mad at me at Gma’s that day-she was super cool! Anyway though, I hope we can go to Hawaii soon after this, we could use a romantic getaway. So I’m upset w/ Mike- I don’t care what he says does or says to me but he has upset my wife way too many times. Your safety should be way up on his top priority. As a father his daughter-in-law whose husband got put away needs to be dwelling on your safety at this time and helping you fix that fence issue. You should make a habit of putting that pole in the sliding glass door while you’re there and not. By now hundreds of people know you’re living alone. All mom and Mike’s friends and friends friends and maybe even friends, friends friends but who knows how far it goes. Bunch of pervs and criminals. With that pole you are safe. It’s not that hard to reach down and grab. Just start a habit. Most importantly I hope you are remembering to lock that front door every time. I remember how the baby’s greeting would distract us at times. I pray you will do everything w/ more caution-no out at night alone, carry cell and spray always-come on make Jefe proud J Anyway see how the blood-related men to me got on the ball-Gpa might actually forget though so you can give him a reminder. Anyway yeah I’m glad you are getting closer to Sunny. She was my best friend growing up. She was a brat but I also antagonized her because of it. But I really enjoy her perception and I know you could be just as good of friends w/ her as you are w/ Jen cause Sunny thinks just as much as Jen and I. Jen and Sunny are my favorite peeps. I feel close to them. Shawn and Gma are pretty cool too! My mom I would like a lot more if she wasn’t so influence by those around her. She is manipulated and has thus become a manipulator. Watch out for that. It’s sometimes real subtle like most effective manipulation is. I think you know what I mean but one example is how they kind of encouraged me to drink and smoke. They don’t want to feel guilty because I use to make them feel dumb about it when I was younger at times. Anyway besides being cautious the only other thing I ask is that you not drink with non God fearers. I know you know all this as you have more control than anyone I know and I really respect that. I wonder why the baby wouldn’t sleep in that bed with you? I bet I was the last one to sleep in it. How was the bay with Sunny while you were at the training those days. The reason I liked this last letter is because you were so positive about everything. That sucks that Sid forgot that printer for photos. I kind of forgot the details of your face again. I keep picturing you like 10 years ago with the pixie hair. Oh that was gross that Uncle Lynn ate meat from the fridge that was 2 weeks old. That is not like me-I would never do that, eww, never, never. So no Jen hasn’t indicated to me that she is depressed or having a hard time so I did end up writing her a letter, despite her short little one. Just got my first visitor approval—it’s you. So anyway you spoke of needing more space to put the stuff from the spare room-have you checked out the backyard storage attic yet? So if you send me that book make sure you take everything out of it first or the guards will think it’s a scam. 

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