Day 39
So this is the most pissed I’ve been since I’ve been in here. The main C.O. just told me that they didn’t grab my shoes from my previous cell. My old celly owes a lot of people so I’m sure they’re gone by now. Doesn’t it seem like it’s their responsibility to gather all my stuff from my cell when they throw me in the hole unexpectedly? Well I’m not 100% sure but since I was just told that they didn’t grab my shoes I’m sure they didn’t grab my shower shoes either which is what I have been waiting on before taking another shower. “Welcome to prison” says Paul. So there’s $60 down the drain. The only good thing is that I got the cheapest ones. Well that’s not good but I guess could have been worse. So I’m anxious to someday find out what else they didn’t grab. Corrupt and retarded CO’s and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I won’t be taking a shower for another week til I can buy more shower shoes. At least they’re only $5. Pretty much everything else was in my locker so it should all be accounted for-shoes we kept under the bed. So we can try to look at the bright side-I could have had to pay a restitution fine of $60,000 or more like some folks around here. Oh, so since no shower (til new shower shoes) same clothes for a week too; same socks, same underwear. Something else weird about prison-everyone sounds like they know for sure about things. It messes me up because I never state things as facts unless I am 100% certain. I thought Warner was crazy but come to find out it’s typical. So yeah they have the inmates taking showers locked in those cages w/the water running for almost an hour now. I think it’s punishment cause my bunky was yelling for them to turn off the water like a half hour ago. I used the toilet while he was gone so that was a special treat. But anyway back to my old bunky probably selling my shoes, I seem to be the only one in prison who actually knows what it is to be cool. See if I were Mexican he would not sell them. If he was white he would save them for me. Prison politics is uncool. These inmates pour more rules onto themselves than there are in here. You aint right if you aint racist in here-lame. Oh and whiners man-I never realized that men will either complain or get upset if they don’t have their way. Every day that I’ve been here I’ve had to stop myself from saying “waaah” poor baby. They don’t sound whiney but what they say is whining. It’s one thing to complain about something in the world to those close to you but to people that are just temporary. Waaah! Ok so check it-last night they finally gave me my radio walkman but check it-the remaining earbud didn’t work (other one tore off a couple weeks ago). So anyway for about 3 hours last night I jimmy rigged the hell out of my ear bud and got it to work.1st I deteriorated the whole outside of the earbud with my thumbnail. 2nd I tore the wires up from the solder point. I reattached them with the border of my page of postage stamps to a non shorted out spot. Next I used more stamp page border to tape TP around the body. Then more to tape it to the inside of one of my medicine bottles lids. This is to keep it stationed (so wires don’t move) and protected and force sound forward only. I even took a staple from one of your letters to scrape passed the linked stamp borders and TP to clear room for the sound. So now I either can hold it up to my ear or put it under the earpiece of my glasses to hold it there. The only flaw since it was an ear bud and not headphone is it was made to go into the ear and so I have to turn it up all the way to hear it ok. It’s not one of the 10 items on the SHU commissary list so can’t buy another. Paper, envelopes and stamps are so that’s good. The warden actually encourages letter writing in here cause he says it’s healthy to have communications w/ the outside. One other good thing is that they have a book cart with like 10 to 20 books on it. Only problem is it’s all fictional stories-but not in a place to be choosey. Well I’m gonna have to hold out on my push-ups and situps at cage cause I need to not sweat much this week. So I was thinking it may be too hard for me to go year by year with memories. I may just have to remember things, then write what year it was. I’m having a hard time thinking about the past in here cause my heart is set on the future. Yeah I got my bunky sick a few days ago since we live in a closet together and he has the loudest yellcough I’ve ever heard. It’s like he’s forcing it hard and everything is much louder in this empty concrete cell. Violently yell-coughing every few seconds and it drives me wild. This is the kind of guy who gets annoyed very easily. He responds with a “what the F’s your problem” or “what are you an F’ing retard” kind of tone about 75% of what he says when it is completely unwarranted. I’m his first celly in the 45 days he’s been in SHU so he has an excuse. So now you know why I stopped talking to him 5 days ago. Oh and almost all he says he talks super slow and you can guess each of his words before he says them. Love em though, love em though-love all these people-I really do cause of God of course-with him living in me that part is easy. Anyway my celly said chow in the army was 10 times better than here. Well I should close out. Anyway Beauty don’t worry about me ever-it could always be worse-at least he keeps to himself a lot. Hard situations are good and help us improve in life. The worse things are-the more the regular things in life seem nice. Anyway I hope this letter wasn’t lame cause it’s hard to write about things in here when nothing happens in the hole. I hope someone can send me some kind of literature cause trash novels suck. I am hoping the Chaplin will come through here soon so I can get a bible and I’m sure my pagan celly will get worse because of it-I think he’s processed—no one goes from normal to instantly pissed so quickly so often and the things like yell coughing and excessive gas seem unrestrained and intentional. Okay well gotta send this out. Just know that you are my favorite friend ever!
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